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Food & Drink Random & Bizarre

How to Justify Drinking Each Day in November

It’s no secret that liquor sales boom as the calendar years barrels down the home stretch. In fact, November is one of the 12 biggest months of the year for liquor sales. Beginning with Halloween parties and culminating with Black Friday deal shopping, it can often seem difficult to avoid a drink being shoved down your throat. But for those of us who relish the opportunity to make this the greatest Thanksgiving lead-up-to ever, here’s your unofficial rundown of excuses to drink every day from November 1 through the 30th.

Wed, Nov 1 – Halloween Leftovers – If hosted a Halloween party, you no doubt have excess leftovers that need to be consumed or risk going bad. Jello shots no doubt are lining your garage fridge.

Thu, Nov 2 – Toast to the End of the MLB Season – Wow, what a World Series! With the Astros edging the Dodgers in 7, I think we can all raise a glass to a series well played and officially turn the page to 2018. A champagne toast would be appropriate here. Bonus: North and South Dakotans can drink to their statehood! These two rival states came into existence in 1889, though sometimes I think we can all agree it feels longer.

Fri, Nov 3 – Finally Friday! – As George Jones once sang, “It’s finally Friday, I’m free again!” This never rings so true as the first weekend of November. You’re going to need all your energy these next two months prepping for the holidays. So go ahead, take a load off, binge Stranger Things 2. And do so on a budget with a Windsor-Diet Coke.

Sat, Nov 4 – National Pomegranate Month – Admit it: you didn’t know what a pomegranate was ten years ago. Now you can’t live without it! If there’s ever been a reason to make a pomegranate margarita, this is it.

Sun, Nov 5 – NFL Sunday – Whether you’re hooked on the big Seahawks-Redskins game, or the Raiders-Dolphins is more your cup of tea, you can’t deny that football is a great reason to hang out with the crew and share a case of Lone Star beer.

Mon, Nov 6 – Mondays, Amiright? – Ugh, the work week is here again already? By the time you get home from eight hours of the grind, you and everyone you know are going to need a pitcher of gin. Or you could take it easy and enjoy a bottle of Malbec.

Tues, Nov 7 – Billy Graham Turns 98 – Jesus freaks and agnostics alike can no doubt all tip their caps to one of the great evangelists of our lifetimes. The Sultan of Psalms himself is nearing 100, and that alone is a good reason for a glass of Mogen David communion wine.

Wed, Nov 8 – National Harvey Wallbanger Day – Not only is it Humpday, it’s also the one day each year we pay homage to the all-time classic cocktail, comprised of vodka, Galliano, orange juice, and a maraschino cherry. So mix one up, pronto!

Thu, Nov 9 – National Louisiana Day – Maybe you don’t hail from the Bayou State, but you no doubt know someone from there! Send them a selfie of you drinking the official state drink, the Sazerac.

Fri, Nov 10 – Payday – Perhaps this Friday is your payday. If it isn’t, just swap reasons with last Friday. You earned this one! Go find a nice 12-year Scotch to kick off what’s sure to be a wild weekend.

Sat, Nov 11 – Veteran’s Day – Salute our servicemen by buying them a drink at the local watering hole… and have one for yourself while you’re at it. Thanks, troops!

Sun, Nov 12 – National Geography Awareness Week – Everyone’s favorite place-based week kicks off, and you can salute your state with a favorite local cocktail or beer!

Mon, Nov 13 – Sadie Hawkins Day – Whether you ever participated in a dance where the ladies took the lead and asked the boy of their choice, you can enjoy alcohol in moderation today in Sadie’s honor! Oh, and guess what. There’s even a drink named after this fictional gal!

Tues, Nov 14 – Mavericks vs Wizards – The NBA season is young, but these two teams understand what’s at stake in this tantalizing tilt from Capital One Arena in DC. Find the game on TV and watch with a classic Bud Ice in hand.

Wed, Nov 15 – Clean Your Refrigerator Day – How convenient! This silly national “holiday” could actually net you a win. Guzzle what’s left of that vermouth and toss the bottle!

Thu, Nov 16 – Great American Smokeout – Trying to kick the nicotine habit? Few ways are more effective than replacing that old tobacco pipe with a shot of Jagermeister.

Fri, Nov 17 – No Excuse Needed – Come on. It’s Friday. You’ve just finished your third full week of work this month. YOU are the reason it’s okay to imbibe today. You earned this.

Sat, Nov 18 – College Football Saturday – All bets are off when Mercer visits Alabama in a late-season must-win! Grab the guys, a bottle of Tito’s vodka, and sit on the edge of your seat.

Sun, Nov 19 – Marcie Glanzer’s Birthday – “Who?!” you’re no doubt asking. Marcie is the mother of the man who is writing this post! If it weren’t for her, you wouldn’t be reading this great advice column. So go ahead and salute to Marcie with her personal favorite, a hard cider!

Mon, Nov 20 – Falcons vs Seahawks – Monday Night Football at its finest! Featuring two of the last three teams to represent the NFC in the Super Bowl, this game is sure to bring out your A-game when it comes to both cheering and drinking PBR.

Tues, Nov 21 – Church & State Separation Week – Thank God that God and government are fully separated these days. If this issue is really important to you, you might consider drinking a yummy Pimm’s Cup in its honor.

Wed, Nov 22 – Night Before Thanksgiving – Your old high school friends are all back in town, and the bar on the corner is a-rockin’! Permission to get blackout drunk and make out with Suzie: granted.

Thu, Nov 23 – Thanksgiving – No explanation required. Pre-noon is even OK with the kickoff of Lions-Vikings game at 11:30 CT.

Fri, Nov 24 – Black Friday – You’re going to need a lot of tequila to keep up with all the deals this year, whether that means on your computer or in line at Macy’s at 4am!

Sat, Nov 25 – Small Business Saturday – Black Friday not your thing? Then support your local businesses, some of which no doubt include that Mom & Pop liquor store on the corner.

Sun, Nov 26 – Oilers vs Bruins – Could this be a Stanley Cup preview? These two cities hate each other with a passion. Anytime Boston and Edmonton get together in sports you can be assured there will be bad blood brewing. Watch some hockey and drink something with these cute hockey puck chillers!

Mon, Nov 27 – Cyber Monday – Need we say more? If you aren’t in the digital marketing game and busy prepping these annoying BOGO deals, then you’re surely shopping for a deal. Have a Sierra Nevada Celebration Ale as you scope out all the best deals!

Tues, Nov 28 – First Day It’s Socially Acceptable to Start Christmas Decorating – Thankfully all of the festivities associated with Thanksgiving and the great shopping deals are over. Now you can pull your tree out of storage with an egg nog in hand.

Wed, Nov 29 – NCAA Men’s Hoops – Basketball is in full swing, and you’ve earned the right to kick back and watch the big UNLV vs Northern Iowa game. It’s sure to be a shootout, and you’ll need a fridge full of Bailey’s Irish Cream to get you through this one.

Thu, Nov 30 – National Meth Awareness Day – The month ends with all heads turned towards ending the meth epidemic. After you’ve donated and helped some friends in need, it’s time to binge some Breaking Bad with some sort of blue cocktail in hand.

Wow, a perfectly legitimate excuse to kill brain cells every day of November! That’s not even to mention the impromptu office happy hours. So go ahead and run up a $300 charge at Total Wine & Spirits. You have our permission!


Great for November… or Other Months, I Guess.

 


My Hot Take:
I mean, I intend to use all of these excuses. I came up with them, after all.

tl;dr
Drinking can be fun in moderation! But for those hell-bent on doing it every day, there are perfect excuses to do so.

Note: We at HTDT don’t condone alcoholism.

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