It seems so simple to say who your best friend is. But it could hurt the feelings of other friends who now know that you like someone else more!

Unless it is universally well-known, going on social media and calling out someone as your best friend could be a jarring moment to others who consider themselves close to you.

Singling someone out as the “best” could even be an unwelcome experience for the person who was named your best friend! “Whoa, slow down there compadre,” they may think to themselves. “I like you, but… take it easy.”

Some might say any unfavorable response to a simple comment about friendship is overanalyzing the situation, or blowing it totally out of proportion. But others will undoubtedly make it out to be something bigger than it is. “Screw you, Diane, you bitch! I thought we were best friends. And here you are posting pictures of you out to brunch with your ‘best friend’ Carol? After all we’ve been through?!”

How can you tactfully declare a best friend publicly, and is it even worth it to do so?

Think about what it means to declare a best friend—you’re essentially ranking your friends against each other! Are you prepared to state that you like or share a deeper bond with one person more than others?

Here are some “friendly” tips in how to declare a best friend.

• How well known is it that you and this other person are best friends? If you and Bob have been inseparable since you were 2 and everyone knows it, go ahead and declare best friendship status.
• If you and your best friend’s names are practically synonymous with each other and go hand-in-hand together, go for it. If you never hear your name mentioned without your best friend’s name, then you’re in the clear to post. “I’m surprised Hans and Corky didn’t come to the party!”
• If you truly only have one friend, then that friend by default is your best friend.
• If you’re one of those sappy couples that refers to your spouse your best friend, then that’s all anyone needs to hear! “I’m marrying my best friend today! Sorry Tanya… you’re my best friend friend, ya know?”
• If your best friend is your mother or father, post away. Everyone will get it. “My mom is my best friend! We do everything together!” Just be sure your other parent won’t be offended to hear this.
• Sibling best friendship is pretty normal too. Some sisters and brothers are very close, and even live together well into adulthood. No one would be too ruffled if you declared your sister your best friend on a Facebook post.
• You could always declare types of best friends to accommodate everyone. “Well, Monica is my best friend from high school, and Ross is my best friend from college, and Dickie is my best friend to get loaded with, and…”
• Declaring “one of my best friends” is a great way to honor the person in question while leaving the door open to others being in consideration.
• If you do declare a best friend in a public setting, be prepared to justify it. “Diane, you know Marcia and I go back to our days in diapers! We were inseparable from kindergarten through mortician school. I have one of her kidneys, and she has several pints of my blood. But of everyone I’ve met for the first time in the last four hours, you’re definitely my best friend.”

In the end, though, how do you really feel? If someone is your best friend and you don’t care that others know it, go shout it from the rooftops!

My Hot Take

I can definitively say that I do not have a singular best friend. I have a tier of maybe a half-dozen people who I would say are all amongst my closest friends, though I suppose I do have best friends from different eras of my life. I doubt I would ever go out on Facebook and specifically name someone as such.