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How to Justify Wearing a Bandana on Your Head

Bandanas may look rad, but they serve real purposes too.

When you see a person wearing a bandana on their head, what is your initial assumption? If “totally righteous badass” comes to mind, you’re 100% spot-on correct. What is it about this piece of fabric tied around one’s head that is so damn cool, and what reasons are there for wearing one? Let’s explore.

Why wear a bandana? What’s in it for me?

Unfolded and in their natural state, bandanas are nothing more than a big square of lightweight cloth. But folded and tied around one’s head, they are a thing of both beauty and purpose.

We took a look around the Internet, polled a group of bandana-clad people, and made some flat-out guesses, and concluded there are simply a lot of great reasons why one might wear a bandana.

  1. It looks good. Regardless if the bandana is serving a real purpose, if you put one on, look in the mirror, and declare that it looks awesome, then just fucking own it, man. Wear it with confidence and pride.
  2. It feels good. Maybe you look like a dipshit, but the feel of the bandana around your head just feels natural. Go with it!
  3. It’s hiding something. If you botched a haircut, or are embarrassed/ashamed of your balding head or receding hairline, a bandana can cover it up as well as a cap.
  4. It’s cooling you. If you’re out in the hot sun, consider a bandana as a very lightweight method of staying moderately cooler.
  5. It’s protecting you from harmful UV rays. You’ll have to cover the rest of your body with sunscreen or clothes, but the scalp can be covered with a bandana to lessen or eliminate sunburns.
  6. It keeps hair out of your face. If you have long hair that just won’t stay out of your face, hold it back with a bandana!
  7. It keeps sweat out of your face. Athletic headbands do a better job of it, but a bandana will soak up some moisture, too!
  8. It helps you to slip your head into a helmet. Whether motorcycle helmet or football helmet, a bandana over your hair is the exact same thing as wearing a sock on your foot.
  9. It’s the belt for your head. If you want to drape a larger cloth over your head and keep it out of your eyes, a bandana functions in the same way a traditional belt would—only for your forehead!
  10. It’s the toolbelt for your head. Need somewhere to stick a pen or ruler while working on a project? Slip a pencil under that bandana and keep it right where you want it!
  11. It’s good for developing a lookMaybe it’s as simple as you trying to stand out in a crowd. Trust us, people in bandanas are memorable. “Who should we cast in this movie?” “What about the guy who wore the bandana to his audition?”
  12. It’s good for joining a gang, or becoming a thug. Just like a pocket protector screams “GEEEEK!”, a bandana invokes images of thuggery, mischief, and all-around rebelliousness. It’s great for a goody-two-shoes who wants to look just a little meaner.
  13. It’s good for setting a mood. Are you normally an uptight asshole business exec wearing a tie? What says “I’m ready to let loose and pop open a Mich Ultra” better than a bandana?!
  14. Costumes. Whether you’re pretending to be Hulk Hogan, Tupac, or Bret Michaels, you’ll need a bandana to perfect the look.
  15. They’re a great icebreaker. Not a good natural conversation-starter? Put on a bandana, for Christ’s sake! “So dude, we gotta ask… what’s up with the bandana?” Bam! Next thing you know you’ve got your next BFF for life.
  16. It’s a good way to always have an emergency rag. Are you constantly knocking over cups of pop? Take off that bandana, sop it up, and you’re golden.
  17. And of course… blowing your snotty nose. But after blowing, you might get some looks if you put it back on your head.

man and woman wearing bandana

Are there more reasons to wear a bandana other than those listed above? You betcha! But this is a blog, not a 38,000-page encyclopedia. Leave your bandana uses in the comments and you could win a How To Do That bandana!

My Hot Take

I’m no stranger to the bandana. I began wearing one fairly regularly to work in 2017 for many reasons. I liked the way it looked, I like the way it felt, and it helped cover my receding hairline! I couldn’t give two shits if anyone else liked it or not. My wife most definitely did not like it and pleaded with me to take it off in public. But I felt like my work friends enjoyed it, and a few of them even started wearing their own bandanas. When I switched jobs and wore it to work for the first time, I got a lot of looks and was nicknamed “Tito Friday” because I wore a Tito’s Vodka bandana on a Friday.

About Glanzer

A native of Carpenter, South Dakota, I work professionally as a digital marketer. My favorites include karaoke, cocktails, the Minnesota Twins, and of course blogging. I strive to one day own a small town bar.

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