How to Get Co-Workers to Notice Your New Shoes

If you have feet, you probably wear shoes. Some people have a closet full of shoes for any conceivable occasion, while others are happy with a single pair of tennis shoes for all occasions. Due to a number of factors, you’ll eventually need to buy a new pair of shoes. Maybe your feet are growing, your soles are worn out, your shoes are out of style, or someone threw them on a rooftop. There’s no feeling like wearing new shoes for the first time in public. They’re so new, shiny, and comfortable, it’s hard not to take notice. But what if no one else notices?

There are many things more frustrating in life than people not taking note of your new shoes, but it’s nonetheless something that can wear on one’s mind–especially if it took you a long amount of time and/or a large amount of money to pick them out. You wear them to the office, strut around a bit, take a long trip to the water cooler, hoping and praying people take note. But no one does. We’ve all been there.

But it doesn’t have to be a lost cause. There are plenty of ways to get co-workers to notice your new shoes.

Many people will stretch out and put their feet in a busy walkway so others have no choice but to step over or go around you. When people are forced into such actions, they frequently make note of your footwear. You do, however, run the risk of annoying and even injuring others.

Another good way for people to take note is to frequently tie your shoelaces. Stop in high-traffic areas, bend down, and make a show of it. Some under-the-breath mutterings like “ugh, I was so used to my old laces” are sure to attract the attention of your office mates.

If no one has taken notice yet, you might want to simply remove your shoes altogether and sit barefoot for a while. It helps if your feet emit an unpleasant odor, as those near you are sure to take quicker note. “Bert, why aren’t you wearing shoes?!” “Oh, my feet just needed to breathe; I’m used to my old shoes.”

Walking very loudly, whipping the soles of your shoes on the ground can be effective. Just try not to interrupt important calls!

Social media should be your next stop. You’re not yelling it right in people’s faces, but anyone can see. “@newbalance OMG loving my new kicks! #newshoes #walkingonairmotherfuckers”

If nearly a full workday has passed and not one co-worker has asked about your new shoes, it’s acceptable to just ask people to guess what’s new. “Guys, can anyone guess what I changed?” Hopefully someone notices, but if not, go ahead and get mad. They are now the ones in the wrong. “Uhh, hello? My shoes? They’re brand fucking new. No one noticed. No one gives a shit about anything. Just like no one noticed when I got my eyelids pierced. Well you can all just go STRAIGHT TO HELL!” Well, that may be taking it a tad far. But make sure to get your point across!

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My Hot Take:
I didn’t even mess around. The last time I got new shoes, I took a picture and posted them to Twitter and sent it to our internal Twitter handle, where it was promptly retweeted to the rest of the company. Our logo is blue, and my shoes were blue, so I made it seem like I was buying in on company culture and promoting the brand. Everyone noticed and loved them!

Try walking differently or putting your feet where people can see them.

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