It’s not spacious, and provides plenty of opportunities for creeps to spy on you, but changing clothes in a car is oftentimes necessary.
We’ve all needed to change clothes somewhere unorthodox. You sneaked out of work to interview for a different job, and with time of the essence, were forced to find a quick place to change into a business suit. Or maybe you simply pooped your pants at a church picnic and are trying to discretely change into clean trousers. Or maybe you got rained on and want dry panties. Whatever the reason, a car is often the best option for a dressing room on-the-go.
Bill had to change clothes in his car and it went badly
Bill drove straight from the office to his men’s softball league game. Dressed in his business attire, he needed a place to change into his softball gear. The field was abuzz with people, however, and the only restrooms were port-a-potties. He quickly realized his car would be the only realistic place to change, and pulled into one of the few remaining parking spots.
Not only was his Honda Fit a small area for a grown man to attempt to maneuver his body around to change clothes, he also had to be discrete because he was parked in a highly visible area. There were children just feet away running around in the grass!
He reclined his seat back as far as it would go in all directions, kicked off his shoes, and shimmied out of his pants. Once his button-down shirt was off and he was down to his skivvies, it was time for the real tricky part—getting his boxers off quickly and slipping his stretchy athletic briefs on without being noticed.
Despite the commotion outside his car, he stripped down until he was fully naked. As he fumbled in his backpack for his underwear, he was startled by a loud “THWACK!” on his windshield. Bill looked up and noticed a foul ball had struck his car, leaving a large crack! Worst of all, a couple of women nearby came over to inspect the damage.
Bill tried to duck down out of sight, but it was too late. “Sir? Sir are you okay?” asked a concerned woman. She tapped on his driver’s side window. “Sir?” That’s when she saw Bill’s naked body. “Oh my God! There’s a naked pervert in this car, everyone! Someone call the police!”
A crowd gathered around, peering into Bill’s car from all angles. Bill cried for everyone to leave. “I was only changing clothes! I was getting ready for the big game!” Bill wailed. “I’m the shortstop!”
Bill’s teammate Andy eventually came to his defense, but not before snapping some pictures to share on Snapchat. When Bill was finally left alone to change, it was a difficult process, trying to wriggle into his uniform in such a compact space.
The whole thing was a nightmarish debacle. But guess what? It can be done, and done easily! Here’s how.
Tips for Changing Clothes in Your Car
- Most importantly—and we can’t stress this enough—don’t change clothes while driving. And make sure your shifter is in Park.
- Changing at a stop light is too risky. Pull over to the side of the road at a very minimum.
- Park somewhere out of plain view, or move your car to the back of a parking lot. But don’t park somewhere so out-of-place that you call extra attention to yourself. “Hey, what’s that car doing parked all by itself under that big tree! Let’s go inspect!”
- Roll your windows up. If it’s a super hot day, it’s okay to leave the windows cracked a bit. The less visible you are, the better.
- In theory, changing in a car is easier for a man than a woman because the man only needs to worry about the waist-down. But the average woman is smaller and more flexible than a man, making it easier in general to change.
- If weather is anything but sunny, you’re in luck. Rain, snow, sleet, fog, and sandstorms will help shield your car from perverts trying to spy on you.
- If you are driving a van, minivan, or RV, you should have plenty of room to change in the back. But if you’re in a car or pickup that requires you to change in your front seat, consider scooting the seat back as far as it can go to give yourself the most possible legroom to maneuver around.
- Tinted windows are a “must” for frequent car clothes changers. If tinted windows aren’t in your budget, but you can foresee yourself changing clothes often, consider investing in a windshield sun shade. This is basically just blinds for your windshield.
- Make certain you actually have all of your second set of clothes before beginning the changing process. There’s nothing worse than taking your pants off only to realize the other pants were forgotten at home.
- Make sure you have easy access to your change of clothing. If you scooted the driver’s seat all the way back, ensure the backpack containing the new clothes isn’t pinched behind the seat. And definitely make sure the change of clothes isn’t in the trunk!
- Just to be safe, in case someone somewhere is somehow watching you, consider making a horrified face every so often and quick pull your clothes over your chest, as if to say “I see you staring at me! How dare you!”
- Stick strictly to changing clothes and get it done as fast as possible. Time is of the essence! Get it done in the quickest time possible. If you need to make adjustments to your tie, belt, or hair, feel free to make those changes outside of the car.
- If during changing, you notice someone can see you and is possibly watching, the best thing to do is give them an even bigger show. Perch that ass in the air and make them be the ones who feel uncomfortable.
- If after changing, someone noted that they could see you changing, the best thing to do is flip the script and say “I know you could see me! If you want the full show, call me later, hot stuff.”
So what. You had to change clothes in your car. Studies show that 84% of the time, no one notices. And in the 16% of the times that people do notice, 88% of the time they struggle to see you clearly. So very rarely is anyone treated to a “free show”. If you need to get from Outfit A to Outfit B and your car is your only choice, go for it. Just make it quick.
My Hot Take
I do this frequently. The normal situations in the past have been interviews and sporting events, but I’ve also changed in my car simply due to sweating through my clothes. Personally, I would be mortified if a potential employer saw me changing right outside their window. I try to park as far away from any office buildings as I can.