There’s nothing as soul-crushing as a 9-to-5 office job
Is there anything worse than a typical corporate America workday? Ugh! From the stuffy office to ringing phones to harsh fluorescent lights, the office can be a mind-numbingly sterile place for many. On top of that is the demeaning, pointless work—annoying spreadsheets, emails, and meetings… Gag me!
Assuming you can’t risk not going to work, à la Peter Gibbons in Office Space, you might need to figure out a way to spice up your monotonous workday and add several pieces of flair to your week.
How can you add some fun to your workday?
If an alien observed us staring like buffoons at our 20″ Acer monitors in half-cubicles day after painstaking day, they’d wonder where we had gone wrong as a race. “Why are frogs and bees and chimps and whales out living life while the supposed “smart” ones are stuck in these depressing industrial park concrete structures?” they’d be asking themselves.
Unlikely as it seems, work doesn’t have to completely defeat you! From treats to music to intoxicants, you can turn an ordinary day into an extraordinary day with a little shot in the arm (figuratively, of course).
- The difference between a boring day and a day to remember often comes down to how the day starts. Try switching up your routine. Instead of gross office coffee and a vending machine pastry at your desk, treat yo’self! Maybe get a gourmet mocha and scone from the neighborhood coffee shop. Add a shot of Irish cream to the cup in the parking lot for added excitement!
- Switch up your attire. If you normally wear slacks and a button-down shirt, throw everyone for a loop and come in wearing shorts, a Weezer t-shirt, and a bandana! Your very looks could change your mindset. Unless you’re in a customer-facing role, you’re looking at a slap on the wrist at worst.
- Work out before work, or even during your lunch break. With those endorphins flowing, you’ll type up those monthly reports with some swagger!
- Bring treats for your colleagues. Being a “giving” person will cost you a few bucks, but you could make some new friends, and every second you spend asking people if they want one of your cinnamon rolls is a second you’re not stuck working.
- Bring your pet to work. As long as it doesn’t spend the day barking or meowing or growling at everyone, it’s sure to bring a smile to your colleagues’ faces!
- Plan something mid-day to break things up a bit. Whether that’s lunch out with a friend, a surprise visit to the old folks at the nursing home, or driving down to the lake to sit on the beach, give yourself something to look forward to right around the halfway point of your day, if you can get away.
- For some, the thrill of petty crimes is enough to make a dull day bright. Try swiping some office supplies—something that won’t get you in much trouble but still lets you feel the rush.
- Every office needs a Grade-A prankster. Set up some harmless booby traps, or try leaping out from behind the copier and scaring someone. You’ll entertain yourself and others alike!
- Not in the mood for hilarious jokes? Just carry on ridiculous fake phone conversations and see if anyone notices. If they do, they’re sure to be confused. “Marco! Is it time for another shipment already? Yes, yes, our customers were most satisfied with your uh, product.” What the hell is Ron talking about?
- Reply to your spam emails and strike up funny conversations with those Nigerian princes out there.
- If single or adventurous, strike up an office romance. The timeless art of flirtation just might land you more than a distraction from your tiresome job!
- Compare your boring job to someone with real problems in third-world countries. A quick reminder that you don’t have things all that bad can turn your day around.
- Even simple, seemingly mundane things like changing your desktop wallpaper, reorganizing the things on your desk, or fixing a wheel on your chair can add some spark to your spiritless day.
What other ways can you find to feel moderately alive at the workplace? Share below in the comments and help a fellow despondent office lackey!
My Hot Take
I’m not gonna go there. I have too many co-workers that know about this site. But I’ve experienced this sorta thing at every job I’ve worked. A normal workday is generally pretty boring and repetitive, and I strive to find something to do every single day to make it more enjoyable.